At some point, you have to decide what your vocation is.
You have to be willing to draw a line in the sand and tell the world, “I am a director” or “I am a producer”. Until you are ready to make that statement without putting a caveat in front of it, then you haven’t yet made the commitment to yourself.
Reframe the statement.
Pick a camera. Film something. Edit something. Do something. The world doesn’t care. The only person who will promote you is you.
Make money on the side. We all have to. We all have a desk job or other similar profession that gets us by in the interim.
But you have to believe in yourself enough to call yourself what you are. And then, do the thing that you want to do.